Honesty

by Thomas Baines

Colin was a very worried man, and had just cause to be so. ... He was in trouble, and though he kept telling himself that worrying never cured anything, it didn't help.
'Why the hell did I ever go to Maxwell's leaving do?' he thought. 'It isn't as though I even like the man.' ... He should have been firm when Bentley and the others in the office badgered him into going. He could have lied and told them he had a previous commitment on that evening - but that would have been dishonest. Anyhow, it was well known that apart from going to church on Sundays, Sandra and he did not socialise at all. It isn't as though they were snobs or anything like that - no, it's just that they liked the quiet home life since the girls had married and both lived in other parts of the country.

The evening had started well enough with the meal at the Berni Inn.
'Thank goodness we had a private room,' he thought, 'Some of the stories told were, to say the least, risque'. That's the trouble with stag parties, there is always someone who starts that kind of thing - then most people's behaviour degenerates to the level of the gutter.' ... Admittedly, he had laughed at times, especially at Russell's tale about the drunken nun and the church organist. Even then, his conscience troubled him - 'What would Sandra say if she knew about such goings-on?'

He then mentally relived the events leading directly to his troubles:

It had been the intention of the organisers that the evening's activities should be limited to the meal followed by the minimum of drinks in the restaurant - a wise precaution, especially as many had to drive home.
After having an adequate meal and they were preparing to leave the restaurant, Johnson shouted, "Let's go to the Dolphin - we can't let 'old Maxwell go without toasting him with a pint of the best bitter in town!"
Colin didn't want to go, but when he found that he was the odd man out once again, he succumbed to the good-natured jibes and reluctantly agreed to go.

The Dolphin Inn was only a few minutes walk away, so the party, about twelve of them in all, travelled there on foot. ... It was one of those gaudy-looking places, being brightly lit and having a loudly-coloured exterior. Colin's worst fears were confirmed as they approached the entrance door - loud pop music blared forth from within.
'Oh my God!' he thought. 'It's a little lads pub!'

The interior was every bit as bad as he had imagined it would be. The place was crowded, mainly with young people, quite a few of whom were punks. The decor appeared to be ghastly - its hideous bright red and green colours being thankfully kept at bay by the room's subdued lighting. The noise from its loudspeakers was almost overpowering, with rock music blaring forth.
They managed to find a standing place not too far from the bar, but had to crowd close together. An added discomfort was people having to push past them.
Colin was relieved when the loud voice of Robinson was heard suggesting that they had a 'three pound kitty' for the drinks - he and Gerry Eden would collect and deliver. The noise was such, that even though Robinson was virtually shouting, his words were only just discernible.
'A kitty', Colin reasoned as he then paid his money, 'Is the fairest way when there are so many in the party. It also ensures that one can decline drinks without too much embarrassment' - he rightly guessed that the drinking session would not be limited to one drink for most of them. ... He was resolved that he would strictly limit his intake - 'What would Sandra say if I arrived home in a state?' If he had been driving he would have refused to go to the pub.
After collecting the money, Robinson and Eden pushed their way through the crowd to the bar
As he waited for his drink, Colin looked about himself and as a result felt somewhat uncomfortable. ... 'Why the hell did Johnson suggest coming here?' he thought. 'A dozen middle-aged men in respectable clothes, look distinctly out of place amongst all these young ones in their modern dress.' His view was apparently endorsed by the fact that glances were made in their direction, often accompanied by signs of sniggering.
General conversation was difficult, so the party broke up into discussion groups of two or three people. ... Colin was with Henshaw and Merton - their initial talking points being of recent happenings in the office.
The beer finally arrived, and he found that the 'best bitter in town' tasted revolting. He however kept sipping at it as they talked.
He had only drunk about half of his drink, when Eden came round for more money off each of them. It was with some reluctance that he put his hand in his pocket for it. ... The subjects of their conversations had widened - encompassing politics, current affairs, sport, and of course television programmes.

Time seemed to pass quickly. He lost count of the number of times that Eden came back for more money for the kitty.

As the night went on the bitter didn't taste so bad. This being evident by the fact that everybody was knocking it back at a fairly constant rate.

After a time, it was evident that Merton was getting a little fed up with the conversation - his attention being gradually diverted to other parts of the room. ... He now and again interrupted with such observations as, "Have you noticed there are some fine pieces in this place?" And, "Hey, look at that one over there - what a pair of legs!"
Colin and Henshaw tried to show they were above that kind of thing by mainly ignoring his remarks. Henshaw did however show his disapproval with pointed remarks about Merton's age and his bald head. Though trying not to show it, Colin was actually in agreement with Merton's observations - he actually giving furtive glances in the necessary directions.
Eden had arrived at Colin's group with more beer, and as Henshaw lifted his glass off the tray it tended to tip over, some beer spilling from the glass. Colin reactively stepped backwards. But took no more than half a step, when he pushed against someone who was trying to get past him. ... He immediately felt the curvaceous splendour of a woman's figure against his - it excited him. ... He stepped forward, looked round and at once apologised. 'God! She's beautiful!' He thought.
Her even white teeth showed as she smilingly said in a low seductive voice, "Oh, that's all right."
He stared after her as she made her way to the ladies toilet. Just before she entered, she looked back and when she saw him looking, gave an entrancing but shy-like smile. He was infatuated. ... She looked about thirty years old. Her full but shapely figure looked terrific in a smart tight-fitting turquoise-coloured suit with a white blouse. Her shapely legs above red high-heeled shoes, appeared very enticing to him. ... As she had turned her head, confirmation of her beauty was there for him to see. The face with bright blue eyes together with a small straight nose and full red lips, were held by him to be perfection. Her blond hair looked soft and natural.
Henshaw was talking to him at the time, but apparently didn't notice that Colin was not really listening as he kept glancing in the direction of the toilets. ... But Colin was conscious of the fact that Merton knew where his interests lay - though thankfully, he made no mention of it at the time.
When she came back, she once again passed close to Colin - he gave her a bashful smile. She, in return, smiled and blushed as she looked at the floor in an embarrassed way. She then joined two other women stood near to the bar. They too were smartly-dressed, and appeared to be about her age. The three of them started talking and laughing together. ... She kept glancing at Colin, but immediately avoided his stare whenever he looked in her direction. He was conscious of this, and it pleased him greatly.
"Hey! That one over there seems to fancy you - you seem to have struck lucky." It was Merton who spoke as he leered in her direction.
Colin saw the frown on Henshaw's face, and therefore pretended to be surprised at Merton's remark. He even made some unwarranted degrading remarks about her in order to cover his embarrassment. ... Merton just laughed in a knowing way.
Colin is of course not what one would call a drinking man. He knew he had had quite a few pints of beer. But even though he had an unusual feeling of inner self-satisfaction, he felt sure that he wasn't drunk. This appeared to be confirmed when he went to the toilet, for he did not stagger nor was ungainly in any way. ... He was relieved to see that she was still there when he got back, and occasionally glancing in his direction.

It was when the 'last orders' bell rang, and the pub landlord's voice was clearly heard shouting, "Last orders, ladies and gentlemen, please!" That Colin suddenly felt he must speak to her, or he would never see her again. ... But how? He was no womaniser. On the contrary, he was very shy in most women's company. He couldn't just walk straight across and talk to her - that was normally beyond his capabilities. But he knew that somehow he had to make the effort, or else all was lost.
Just then, Eden came to the collect money and orders for the last round of drinks. Colin had just declined to have a drink. But as Eden was walking away, he suddenly thought of a way of approaching that woman, resulting in him shouting after Eden, "I'll help you and Eddie with the drinks!" Eden was obviously surprised as he stopped, looked round and said, "Yes, all right - come-on then." Colin ignored Merton's knowing smile as he followed Eden and Robinson to the bar.
He felt a little light-headed as they pushed their way through the crowd. 'It can't be the beer,' he told himself, 'I'm not drunk - it's just the excitement.'

When they joined the throng at the bar, Colin made sure that he was stood next to the woman. After a few moments of embarrassed uncertainty, he braced himself and said, "It-It's a bit warm in here."
She turned her head and pretended to be surprised when she saw it was him. "Yes, it is - these places are all the same," she responded in a pleasant voice.
"I'm with a crowd of chaps from the office - it's a farewell party for one of them."
"Oh, how nice. My friends and I are just having our weekly night out together." As she spoke she turned and faced him, completely ignoring her friends.
Colin suddenly felt exhilarated when he noticed that she wasn't wearing a wedding ring. ... He couldn't help but stare directly into her wonderful blue eyes. She tended to respond in a likewise manner, but kept averting her gaze by continually glancing at the floor in genuine embarrassment. They introduced each other - she being named Pauline. ... It was after this that she declined his offer of a drink. ... Then they more or less automatically stepped away from the crowd at the bar in order for their conversation to develop. They spoke mainly about things in general - each being careful not to give any personal details about themselves. Colin was surprised how relaxed he was when he spoke to her. What they spoke about, did not register clearly in his memory. He did however remember Robinson and Eden smirking at him as they passed, each carrying a tray of drinks.

The landlord shouted, "Time, ladies and gentlemen, please! Let's have your empty glasses!" ... This was the time that Colin knew he should make a move if he was ever going to have any chance with her - she could just say good night to him, then leave with her friends. He took a deep breath, braced himself, and after looking around in order to make sure that nobody else could possibly hear, he said in an emotional but hesitant voice, "I-I think you are gorgeous - you're-you're beautiful!"
She was obviously very surprised and taken aback - giving a smile of delight as she looked at the floor in a coy way.
He couldn't restrain himself in adding, "I think I've been smitten by you - I-I just can't get you out of my mind!"
Looking a little agitated, she said, "I don't know what to say. I-I feel, well em - it isn't the beer speaking is it?"
"Oh, no!" he countered. "I can assure you that my feelings are straight from the heart - honestly, I wouldn't dream of deceiving you."
"What about your wife?" she retorted. "I assume you are married!"
"Oh, well, yes, em. I-I -."
"Look!" she exclaimed, interrupting him. "You seem to be a decent bloke, but I don't want anything to do with a married man - I've got enough trouble as it is!"
"Em, I'm sorry," he countered, "It's not just sexual attraction - I really do have feelings towards you."
"You have a good night's sleep - you'll feel differently when you are your old-self again," she advised.
He gave a look of resignation and nodded in a sad way. "Could I at least see you home? Unfortunately, I haven't got the car with me. I promise to behave like a gentleman."
She hesitated. Then after some apparent serious thought, said, "All right, it's not too far, we can walk - but only to the end of the road where I live!"
"Yes, yes - I agree!" he eagerly exclaimed.

He was excited as she took leave of her friends. At the same time hoping that nobody from the office would see him leaving with her. ... Thankfully, none of them appeared to do so.

They walked along the well lit main street for about two hundred yards, and then turned down a poorly lit secondary road. ... Few other pedestrians were around as she linked her arm through his. He felt excited and at the same time comforted by her action.
He couldn't later recall what they had been talking about as they walked along. But he distinctly remembered the blaze of headlights from a car coming up the road in the opposite direction - they were on full beam.
There was a screech of tyres as the car suddenly pulled-up opposite to them. ... Then the driver's door was flung open.
Just as Colin perceived the figure of a large young man hurtling towards them, he felt Pauline's arm go rigid as she yelled in a startled voice, "Oh, my God! It's Johnnie!"
Johnnie dashed right up to where they both stood transfixed by the suddenness of it all. ... He grabbed Pauline's arm and dragged her away from Colin. As he did so, he yelled in a bitter-sounding voice, "You fucking bitch! Up to your old bleedin' tricks again. I'm going to teach you a lesson you'll never forget!"
Colin stood, initially paralysed by shock, as she shrieked, "No, Johnnie! No!"
As Johnnie started to drag her across the road in the direction of the car, Colin came to his senses - and at once went after them, shouting, "Bloody-well leave her alone!"
Johnnie immediately stopped and turned, he retorting in an angry voice, "Piss-off! Think yourself lucky I haven't done you!"
At this, Pauline almost struggled free from Johnnie's hold and started to scream at the top of her voice. ... Johnnie grabbed her tightly and raised his arm as though to hit her across the face.
What Colin did next, was an unthinking reaction, possibly due to seeing too many action films on TV - he grabbed the upraised arm, swung Johnnie towards him then landed a punch on the point of his chin. He hit him with all his might. ... Johnnie went sprawling on the ground, evidently somewhat dazed and looking astonished.
Colin had never hit anyone before. His action had come more or less automatically as a gallant, if foolhardy, attempt to rescue a damsel in distress. ... He did not look at the results of his action on Johnnie - he was too busy clutching the hand that had smote him. 'God! How it hurt!' Every time he tried to unclench his fist it hurt like hell - he must have broken a bone there.
As he stood in a semi-crouching position clutching the injured hand, he didn't notice what was going on about him. It therefore came as a complete surprise when Pauline came at him, flaying him with her fists as she screeched, "You sod! Bleedin'-well hit my Johnnie would you!" He managed to divert most of the blows with his uninjured arm, but was unable to avoid a nasty kick on his ankle before he was able to push her away.
She then came at him again, but was violently brushed to one side before she could reach him - it was Johnnie! A very angry Johnnie! ... His fists flew furiously at Colin's face, and at least four punches must have landed on their target before Colin collapsed in a helpless heap on the ground.
As Johnny then bent down and roughly grabbed the lapels of Colin's bloodstained jacket in order to give him some more punishment, Pauline dashed up and tried to pull him away, at the same time yelling, "No more, Johnny! He's got what he deserved - come-on!" ... This had a sobering affect on him - after a few seconds of angry and serious thought, he let go of the lapels and slowly stood up straight. Pauline moved close to him and linked her arm through his, then said in an almost motherly way, "Let's go home."
Johnny appeared to be in a daze, as with one of his hands holding his jaw, they slowly walked to the car.

A few people had stopped in order to see what had been going on, and understandably none of them had wanted to get involved in a street fight. ... It was only after Johnny's car had got under way, that a young couple cautiously approached Colin.
As the man helped him to his feet, he enquired if Colin was all right. ... Colin managed to mutter that he was. Since he was able to stand unaided and seemed to be in control of his faculties, they left him - it was obvious that he wanted to be alone. ... The other spectators gave repeated glances at Colin as they too went on their way.
He stood there in a shocked and dazed state. Initially, he had no feelings of pain. But as normality returned his wounds were very evident to him. ... His hand hurt like hell, the ankle was very sore and his face felt terrible. He had been punched in one eye, and on the nose and mouth. At least two front teeth had been knocked loose.

Colin was a very worried man, and he had just cause to be so. He was in trouble, and though he kept telling himself that worrying never cured anything, it didn't help. ... What a hell of a mess he was in. He had been in a street fight over a woman. He would have to lose some teeth, more than likely had a black eye, perhaps a broken nose, and almost definitely a bone was broken in his hand. He was only now beginning to stem the flow of blood with his handkerchief. Furthermore, he limped badly when he attempted to walk. How was he going to explain it all to Sandra and the people at the office? He was an honest man who prided himself on always telling the truth. As a matter of fact, they were the only things that made him feel superior to most people - he detested the dishonest, and loathed the liar. He was therefore in quandary over what to do.

The pains were almost unbearable as he limped back in the direction of the main road. ... As he walked he decided that the thing to do was to find a taxi to take him straight home. ... He would tell Sandra the truth. The consequences may be catastrophic, his marriage may be ruined, but his conscience would be clear, for he could never live a lie. With regard to those at work, he would say as little as possible - it was none of their business.
No other people appeared to be about as he limped past a row of shops not far from the main road. As he passed the entrance to the third shop, a sinister-sounding man's voice spoke to him from the dark depths of the entrance-way to the shop's door. It asked, "Have you a light, mate?"
Colin felt frightened, and tried to quicken his pace as he replied, "Sorry, I don't smoke!" He had only gone a few further steps when he heard footsteps quickly coming-up behind him. ... He sensed that it was trouble, and knew that he couldn't get away from it. Though frightened, he nevertheless turned and faced them - there was little else he could do. The two young yobbos stopped in their tracks and stood directly in front of him. ... "Well, dad!" said one of them as they both stared menacingly at Colin, "That's going to cost you twenty pounds!"
Colin had had enough - in addition to his previous troubles, these two young thugs were trying to mug him. ... A surge of anger and deep resentment came over him. 'To hell with it!' he thought. 'I'm not going to give in, I haven't much more to lose now.' ... He braced himself then roared: "Get stuffed!" He at once turning and attempting to limp away.
He had no chance. They quickly caught up with him. He was in no condition to fight back as they rained punches on him. He just crouched there, trying to shield himself with his uninjured arm. He fell to the ground, and they appeared to be going to put the boot-in, when they suddenly stopped, being interrupted by a loud voice exclaiming, "What the bloody-hell's going on down there?"
There was then the sound of running feet coming towards them. The yobbos, quickly appreciating the situation, ran off down the road - shouting back foul abuse as they did so.
There were three rescuers. Two ran on after the yobbos, whilst the other one stopped with Colin. ... It was only when he had helped Colin to his feet, that Colin recognised the man - it was Merton!
Merton didn't know it was Colin until he wiped away some of the blood from the face. "Christ!" exclaimed a shocked Merton. "It's you, Colin - what the hell are you doing here?" ... Fortunately, he carried on before Colin could think of an answer, "Bloody-hell! You're in a right mess! Does it hurt much?"
As Colin attempted to reply the other two came dashing back - they were Henshaw and Eden. ... Later, Colin wondered what they would have done if they had caught up with his assailants - these two relatively unfit men in their late forties wouldn't have had much chance against them. He however appreciated their motives.
"It's, Colin Fairfax!" Exclaimed Merton, as they stood trying to get their breath back. ... They both looked in disbelief at the blooded face.
"He looks in a hell of a state. We need to get him to hospital right away!" exclaimed Eden. "I'll go and find a phone box to call from."

A small crowd had gathered as Eden left. But he was soon back - having waved down a passing police car on the main road.

The police quickly took control of the situation. ... After a quick examination of Colin, one of the two dashed back to the police car in order to radio for an ambulance.
Colin was in a slight state of shock, and therefore unable to answer most of the initial questions that the policeman then asked. He was fortunate that the attack by the yobbos had not resulted in further injuries, though his arms felt sore.
The second policeman rejoined them.
It was then that his injured hand was noticed, and immediately the policemen and the others assumed they knew what had happened. "So that's it, you had a go at them!" exclaimed one of the policemen. "Look sir, that's very commendable, but really, you shouldn't! Just look what's happened to you as a result - it's not worth it! Did they take your wallet?"
Colin shook his head and managed to mumble, "Th -They wanted twenty pounds."
"Twenty pounds!" exclaimed the policeman, "And look at the state of you for the sake of twenty pounds. I'll say this for you, you've certainly got guts - not many men of your age would have even thought of tackling them!"
Though his injuries were still giving him pain, Colin felt pleased - being conscious of the fact that his colleagues from the office had heard what the policeman said. Especially, when he heard Merton say to the others, "Who would have thought that 'old Colin had it in him?"
Colin suddenly felt alarmed, and shouted, "My wife! My wife! I've got to tell her what ha-!"
"Don't worry," interrupted the policeman. "Just give your name and address to Pc Woods here, he'll immediately radio the station - they will send someone to tell her what has happened, then take her on to the hospital." ... Colin gave the necessary information. ... The policeman then carried on, "Now, sir, do you feel fit enough to answer some more questions before the ambulance arrives? We'll get a full statement later on."
Colin gave a reluctant nod.

Colin was asked quite a few questions about the attempted mugging - he having recovered sufficiently enough to be able to loosely describe his attackers, what they said, and more or less what had happened. He was however careful not to mention the injuries received before then. When asked to describe his involvement in the fight, he declined on the pretext that his mind was a complete blank about the actual attack. He did not however deny that he fought back.

They had to wait a further ten minutes for the ambulance to arrive. Fortunately, the policemen made due allowances for his condition by not asking Colin any further questions. His own colleagues restricted their conversations with him to a few words of comfort.
He was pleased that he could just stand there unbothered. Although his injuries were still painful, he had an opportunity to think things over and to review his situation. ... If he had been drunk, then the terrible happenings had certainly sobered him up. He knew that physically he was in a hell of a state but nevertheless felt calm, for the situation had drastically changed in his favour. All had seemed lost to him before the incident with the yobbos. His marriage would have been put in jeopardy, and his future at the office didn't bear thinking about. But now things had changed, and not really because of any direct action on his part. Once the police and his colleagues had appreciated his physical condition, they had come to a conclusion - a wrong one! Not only that, but far from being in disgrace, he was actually being treated as a bit of a hero - albeit a foolish one. He would not have to explain how he got his injuries to Sandra - for the police would have already given her their account before she arrived at the hospital. Merton and the others would quickly spread the news at the office. Another thing, they mustn't have seen him leave the pub with Pauline, for Merton wouldn't be Merton if he hadn't already made a crack about it. Things were going to turn out all right - he hadn't actually lied to anyone, nor did he intend to do so. He would avoid answering any compromising questions, on the pretext that it hurt him to recall the events of that evening. It was paramount, that in his own interests he should not counter any assumptions that all his troubles had been caused by fighting with the yobbos.

The ambulance finally arrived. ... He was helped into it and made to lay down on one of its stretchers. It pleased him when Merton insisted that he should accompany him to the hospital.
As the ambulance got under way, Colin lay there feeling somewhat pleased and relaxed. ... He had escaped from his troubles, and what is more, this had been achieved without him having to lie about anything that had happened. His conscience was clear, his virtues had not been impaired - he was a still a truthful and honest man.
Colin was of course quite wrong. He may not have lied about what actually happened, but by not denying an obvious and innocently formed untruth, he was guilty of blatant deceit - definitely not the act of an honest man!

His smug hypocrisy was however rudely shattered when he reached the hospital.
He, in a wheelchair, was being wheeled into the main waiting room, having just come from the X-Ray Department, when he saw his wife, Sandra, sat with Merton. ... He at once felt comforted and relieved, as with a handkerchief held against her anguished face, she at once stood and hurried towards him.
But their joyous reunion was rudely interrupted just before she reached him, as a loud voice screeched, "Colin! Colin - you-you fucking bastard! Look what you've done to poor Johnnie - you've broken his bleedin' jaw!" ... A furious Pauline had spotted him and was stood glaring at him, with poor Johnnie sat beside her - he was waiting to have his jaw fixed.

Yes, of course Colin was a very worried man, and had just cause to be so. He was now sat by himself in a small room at the hospital, awaiting the results of his X-Ray. Pandemonium had broken out at Pauline's outburst, including her trying to attack him physically, with a furious Johnnie only just being held at bay by a struggling Merton. Hospital staff had finally managed to restore order, but only after two burly porters had been brought into the affray. ... Sandra appeared shocked and mesmerised as he was hurriedly wheeled away to this relatively safe haven. ... That was over half an hour ago - since then nobody had been to see him.
He shuddered when he tried to imagine what was awaiting when the hospital released him. ... Finally, all his worries manifested themselves in a great cry of anguish, he then yelling, "Why the hell did I ever go to Maxwell's leaving do? Why the hell d-. Why th-." ... He was then overcome by emotion as uncontrollable sobbing took over.

Thomas Baines, Dursley. January 2010.

Thomas Baines E Mail: Baines1812@aol.com

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Honesty